There's a lesson in Everything....

I have the type of personality where I always have to be doing something. I can’t just sit back and let life happen. So when a friend is feeling down I want to encourage them …when they need help I am ready to give… when they are celebrating I am ready for a party... and so on and so forth. The bad thing about being this type of person is that often times I run myself dry and spread myself too thin. I try to be everything to everyone at all times and often times end up sacrificing myself in the process. I like to be there for others but there are definitely times, like this week, when I realize that disregarding my own needs isn’t always the best for my health. In fact lots of times what I do in this type of situation, when I am exhausted from going and going and going, is  to turn to quick fixes like sugar and caffeine for burst of energy...all of which leads to an eventual crash and me looking to even larger amounts of caffeine and sugar to sustain me….which is basically the road to addiction. This week I have basically lived by that addiction and it’s reeked havoc on my nutrition. Add to that the fact that I seem to think if I blow one morning, I’ve blown the day…and well we end up feeling like nothings ever going to change. But things can and will change….its just a matter of continually getting back on the horse. So that’s the plan…instead of focusing on the bad I’m choosing to look at the good from this week and realise that every lesson brings me closer to eventually reaching my goals!

Week Two.. A pleasant suprise!

Well it’s the start of a new week, so it’s time to recap week two. This morning I weighed in and miraculously lost two pounds! I’m kind of amazed because last week was not my best week ever. It was one of those weeks where I had so much going on and basically I let my health fall by the wayside a bit. It’s hard sometime to find the time, let alone energy, to work out when you’re already getting up early, working a full shift and then have plans every night. I think I got in a grand total of three workouts last week…and none of them were very impressive. To top it off I didn’t go grocery shopping until the end of the week so for the first three days I was snacking on cookies and chips (yeah seriously not the best choices out there). So you see when the scale was nice to me I had reason to be pleasantly surprised!


This week I find that my schedule is just as busy. I have a lot to do and only a little bit of time to do it in. However my goal for this week is to make my health…myself in general…a priority. I work so hard to help everyone else out, I need to learn to put just as much effort into myself... I think...hee hee.

The Buddy System... Don't go it alone!

  I don't know where I picked it up...maybe it' something I learned in Girl Scouts, or as part of fire safety, or maybe it's just one of the societal lessons we all know cause it's ingrained in our culture, but where ever it came from the truth remains... in life it's always safest to implement the buddy system!  I find this fact to also be true when it comes to healthy weight loss and exercise!  There is nothing like having someone in your corner...keeping you accountable and encouraging you in your journey!  It's beyond helpful and at times it pushes you to do the very things wouldn't do otherwise!

  A good example of this comes from my own life.  Over the past week or so my sister and I have been meeting to run together on the high school track.  Most nights I feel like the cheerleader... I'm there to encourage her and keep her going and moving forward.  Yeah I'm getting a workout in but I'm more there for her more so than allowing it to  truly to be about my own journey alone.  Well Thursday afternoon that whole concept got flipped on it's head for me!  First of all I was not in the mood to run at all...in fact had I been planing to run alone I probably just would have cancelled or quit two minutes in.  On top of that it was hot out and I forgot my music...all perfectly good reasons in my mind to throw in the towel.  But there was my sister...stepping up and being my cheerleader and encouraging me to do it and to keep going and not allowing me to sell myself short!  As much as in that moment I hated the fact that she was out running me and forcing me to do it...looking back I love knowing that I have that kinda support.   See that's the thing about the buddy system....when you work together your never alone...that means the chances of you drowning (metaphorically that is) are a lot slimmer.
  Life teaches us that no man is an island...so I encourage you, if you haven't done so yet, Find yourself a buddy, a support group, or some sort of community with whom you can share your journey.  Cause the old saying is true....Together Everyone Achieves More!

Now that's what I'm talking about...

  So over the past several months I've talked and talked and talked endlessly about how much a dislike the excess pounds I've gained in the past year and about how I really need to get back in shape.  Well last Monday I had one of those "ah-ha" moments that turn words into action and I've quite literally spent the week working my ass off.  Today was my official week one weigh in and in the last 7 days I've lost 5.5lbs!!!  I made a goal when I decided to get back on track that I wanted to lose 15lbs before my next race (which is August 29th in case you were wondering) and here is it week one and I'm already 1/3rd of the way to that goal!  How exciting!

  Plus this past week has taught me a very valuable lesson and that is to have grace with myself.  You see I have a very real tendency to throw the baby out with the bath water (so to speak) and so when I make a bad choice it usually turns into a bad day of choices which turns into a bad week of choices and so on and so forth.  This week I've tried really hard...and I've been vigilant....but I've also realised that I'm not perfect and making one bad decision doesn't need to derail the rest of my day.  In the words of Jillian Michaels "If you pop a tire on your car you wouldn't get out and slash the remaining three tires would you?".  That would be silly....and the same concept goes for weight loss. One bad choice doesn't need to lead to more and grander bad choices....each moment is a new opportunity to reach your goals...and that's how I'm choosing to view things as I head into week two.
Jess

History makers, World changers..and becoming a servant of all...

When I was a little girl I had grand dreams of changing the world. I wanted to end world hunger and poverty and in my naivety I truly believed that someday, some way I would. In fact I wrote a letter to myself while I was in elementary school (which my teacher set to me in the mail when I graduated high school) that talked about how I was going to go to Princeton or Yale and get an education so that I could give away what I learned to others in need. Even in high school I held onto dreams about openning a center where the homeless and the broken could come and get food, clothing, and shelter while also getting their very real emotional, spiritual and mental needs met.


Now don’t get me wrong…I still have big dreams and hope to one day truly make an impact with the life I’ve been given. But I guess one thing I’ve realized over the past several years is how true it is that “if you want to change the world, start by changing one person’s world”. When I started on this weight loss journey I was making a decision to change my life...my world. Now I have the opportunity to use that decision to help others change their world too. Yeah maybe the way isn’t as grandiose as building orphanages or adopting communities…but by sharing my journey, by getting those around me off the couch and into a more active lifestyle, and by using races and/or other events to raise money for important causes… I am hopefully making a difference one small step at a time.

Jesus said in Mark 9:35 “Whoever desires to be first, he shall be last and servant of all”…. My prayer is that as I share my journey with others, more and more oppurtunitys would arise to serve others as they change their life/world too!.

The Start of a New Era...again..

   At one point in my life I was actually a morning person.  I once had no problem pulling back the covers and jumping out of bed at ungodly hours of the morning and would do it with such an alert perkiness it would make those around me stand in awe.  But I haven't been that person in a long time. In fact most mornings I hit snooze more times than should be humanly possible, only to force myself out of bed and into the grogginess of morning.  HOWEVER... today that all changed.  Today... for once... I set my alarm for 5:30am and when it went off I got up!  It's a miracle!  And what's even more of a miracle is that I actually worked out when I got up instead of just sitting on the couch or eventually crawling back into bed.  You see, for a while now I have been realizing that my workouts seem to get crowded out in the evenings (uness I wat to do them at 10 at night...which I don't).  So I've been talking and talking and taking about wanting to get up early to ensure I get my workouts in.  The one problem with that being that even though I've talked about it doing it I've never actually done it!  Like I said most mornings I'm a snooze girl and the idea of getting out of bed to workout before an 8 hour work shift just does not excite me.  So what's changed?!  Well I guess I realised that nothing is gonna change unless I'm willing to put in the work to change it and that nothing worth having in life comes easy.  So here's to starting a new trend!  Heer Heer....hee hee ;)
Jess
Jess

Special Memories of Sisterly bonding...

  So today I did the Women's Red Dress 5k at Elizabeth Park/Rose Garden in West Hartford Connecticut!  Not only was the course beautiful, but I felt extremely blessed to have so many great people running the race with me!  This was a race for the memory books in that my big Sister Denise ran it with me!  I remember two years ago when we embarked on our weight loss journeys, the idea of running a 5k together never even crossed our mind.  Yet today there we were at the starting gate standing side by side!  I was so proud of her for pushing herself to do this (especially considering she didn't really train) and I learned that sometimes running for fun instead of time can truly make an event special...and extremely fun!!!  Thanks to everyone who sponsored this event and congrats to all the runners who participated!  Now off to plan the next event.....maybe a spirnt triathlon?!?!
Jess

Four on the Fifth...

So today I ventured down to Chester Connecticut and participated in the 32nd annual “Four on the Fifth” road race. This was advertised to me as a nice scenic jog by the ocean. What it turned out to be was 4 miles of running up and down hills in the heat of 90 degree weather! This was definitely not my most favorite run of the season or my best! In fact I actually ended up walking a lot during it…which always annoys me because once I start walking it’s always hard to convince myself to start running again (But it was hot and I was feeling light headed and well it’s better to walk then pass out right…at least that’s what I told myself)! Anyway the entire run took me about 52 minutes… which is about a 13 minute mile pace and way off the pace I am use to keeping (and of course I’m such a numbers girl I kept looking at my watch and calculating my time throughout the run which only made me more discouraged). But the one thing that saved this race was the locals!!! I have to hand it to the residents of Chester….seriously a BIG round of applause goes out to you… for it seemed like the whole town was out cheering us runners on (only a runner can truly understand what that means to a person)! Then as if to go above and beyond the call of duty, every few houses there was some neighbor out in their driveway or on the edge of their lawn with the hose spraying all of us down (And let me tell you… on a hot day like today when people were fainting during the run….that water was GREATLY APPRECIATED)! So Thank You Chester residents and all those involved in the race! Now off to prepare for Saturday’s 5k in the park!


Jess

The Best Find of the Summer....

More than once this week I have had the conversation with someone about how when I read a book I try not to look at the picture of what the author looks like on the back cover, because more times than not that picture ruins the book for me (you just have a certain expectations when you read what a story is about …and when the picture of the author just doesn’t match those expectations, it changes your whole approach to the book…at least it does for me for some reason). Anyway I realized yesterday that my randomness when it comes to looking at the back of a book to decided if it’s worth purchasing, also extends to magazines.

For the last year (at least) I have been a HUGE advocate for the magazine “Runner’s World”…I love it and probably always will because there is just so much useful information in it. However yesterday my co-worker introduced me to a new runner’s magazine…”Women’s Running” and I gotta say it’s the best find of the summer! Honestly at first I wasn’t too sure about it…I mean I am a woman and I love to run but the cover was just too plain for me…it didn’t grab my attention. But I decided to flip through the pages just to check it out (which in a lot of ways it reminds me of “Runner’s World” with the types of articles it has and it’s set up). But I was still debating on whether or not to get it when I noticed the quote on the back cover…

“You Can’t Run from your problems, but you’ll both feel a little lighter when you get back”

…That sealed the deal for me (even if it turned out to just be an add or New Balance..hee hee). You see, for me, running has always been kind of a therapy. I throw on my shoes…hit the open road….and then just work through all the issues of my day with each stride I take. It’s that one time during each day when I can get alone with myself and deal with all the stuff that gets blocked out by life…..and then of course there’s the reality that I may not metaphorically be able to run from my problems…but I can run in some sense…and for some reason that always seems to help.

So I bought the magazine and since then have actually started reading it and am quite impressed… so check I’m passing it along and I recommend you check it out too!

Jess

The life of rememberance....

  So last night I watched the movie "Remember Me" with my sister and although it wasn't anything I expected it turned out to be a very well thought out movie and I highly enjoyed it.  It was one of those movies where at the end you sit there for a moment....and all these memories come flooding back to your mind....and you end up being so thankful for the life you have. There are so many times in life that I take everything for granted.  I assume things will always be there or a certain way because they always have been.  And it usually takes something drastic to make me realise what I have.
  In my weight loss journey I often have the same attitude.  It's been over two years now that I've lived under three hundred pounds and I take very simple things completely for granted.  There was a time when reaching down to tie my shoe was difficult and when running three houses down the street would completely take my breath away.  Now when I do those things I don't even think about it.
  Not that I'm saying I should dwell on the past, but remembering where I have come from...and all the hard work it's taken me to get to where I am... it makes me appreciate what I am able to do now and drives me to want to keep improving.  Nobody knows what will happen in life...none of us are guaranteed tomorrow... so in the words of mother Teresa "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are".
Jess

Barriers, Belief and Being Satisfied…

So it’s Sunday and for the most part every Sunday I go to church. Now I like church. For me it’s not this boring thing you do to hopefully appease the gods, but instead it’s a place where I find strength, and peace, and hope. There’s just something so powerful to me when people of the same belief come together and stand shoulder to shoulder seeking to worship and understand more about their creator. Anyway, this morning I woke up and was completely dragging my feet while getting ready for service. Instead of looking forward to being in fellowship, I found myself debating whether or not I should just skip it for the day. Well of course I went and about half way through the sermon it dawned on me what my issue was.


You see, for most of my life I’ve been very introverted. I love to spend time with people but because 99.9% of the time I make some sort of an idiot of myself in front of others, I tend to shy away from too much interaction. Well, contrary to my normal position, this week I’ve been very social and put myself out there in a lot of different ways. It’s been really fun…but it’s also been very stretching. In fact most nights I come home and journaled about how foolish I felt or what type of failure I must have come across as.

Today in his sermon my pastor said something along the lines of “Don’t allow your faults to keep you back from serving God” and although he was talking more about our spiritual relationships, I realized that it was this exact attitude that was keeping me from wanting to go to church today. Like pretty much everyone else in this world, I want to be accepted and I seem to think that in order to be so I have to be perfect. I don’t go to church with perfect people, I don’t work with perfect people, and I certainly don’t have a family full of perfect people…. So why is it I think my faults are the very reason to not even attempt to form real relationships?! Why do I look to run away instead of run to the very things I need the most?

I also think it’s this same dynamic of perfectionism that so much entangles me in my weight loss journey. Over the past several months I have found myself caught up in this cycle where I start realizing that I don’t live up in any way to this standard that society or just people in general have. So I subconsciously turn to food for some sort of comfort. Then after eating my way through a whole bag of chips or enough take out to feed a small family, I feel even worse about myself. Which in turn leads me to seek comfort again….which is usually with more food (although it’s more of a subconscious decision)…and the cycle continues. When will I learn to seek comfort in things that actually satisfy and break the cycle?

Jess

Grossology 101: AKA lessons in stupidiy

So yesterday afternoon my sister and I went on a walk on the trails near her house in Tariffville (which as a side note, the rails to trails system in the Simsbury/Granby area is gorgeous so if you are ever up in that area check it out). Well I had spent the previous night at her house and although I had an inclination that we would probably end up going for a walk, I forgot one very important thing….my sneakers! Well in my mind I figured that since I had already borrowed a t-shirt from my sister earlier in the day (I did laundry and didn’t have time to dry my clothes all the way before bringing the girls out for breakfast…so I needed to borrow something), I might as well borrow some sneakers from her too. One problem…my sister wears 9 ½ size shoes and I wear 11! When I tried her shoes on they actually did fit….even though they were tight. So I figured why not just use them it’s only a three mile walk! Turns out that was a very stupid idea! Exhibit A would be the huge blister I received on two of my toes (which is pretty much the exact same thing I now have on the back of my heel too). So let this be a lesson to all of us….wearing the correct size sneakers is imperative!


Jess

IHOP has healthy options...

  So this morning I decided to treat my nieces to breakfast out (that way we got out of the house  giving mommy some peace and I got to spend special times with them).  Well I just started counting calories again (because as Jillian Michaels says...you must if you want results... and I'm starting to agree) and so I was hoping to find something halfway decent to eat at IHOP (where the kids wanted to go).  Turns out IHOP has a healthy options meanu!  For 350 calories I had a spinach, mushroom, and egg omlette with mixed fruit...and it was yummy!  Score one for the International House of Pancakes (and one for me who chose the healthier option for once!)!
Jess

BL Barnes and Noble Style...Week one recap.

  So as I mentioned in my last post I joined the Biggest loser competition at my job.  Not that I have all that much weight I want to lose but if I could drop about 30lbs I would be perfectly content.  Anyway during week one I dealt with a LOT of family stress.  Normally my reaction to stress is to eat...and although I struggled in that area quite a bit (cause lets face it...I'm human)...I was able to also turn to other things...besides food...to blow of steam.  Infact I renewed my passion for being outside this week by every day getting out of the house and running or walking.  Turns out...between that hour of working out a day and a full work day through out the week... I was able to pull off a three pound weight loss for the week.  Now onto week two...
Jess

And so it begins!

  Alright people... so in an effort to truly get myself back on track I went ahead and joined the Biggest Loser Contest we are having at my job.  Sadly I was so excited by the idea that I went buck wild crazy with running a working out this weekend that I somehow lost 7.5lbs from saturday to monday (unfortunate only because monday was the official beginning of the competition.).  Honestly though I'm not in this to win the money, it's more about motivation...for myself and my co-workers.  So here's to a great competition..heer heer =)
Jess

Back in business...

  So last month I was really bad about blogging.  I always have such good intentions...but then again we all know where good intentions lead.  Anyway I guess in part my lack of posting had a direct correlation to my lack of working out.  But this week I've gotten back on track (must be the fact that I am committed to running a half marathon in about a month).  But the one thing I have had to remind myself of over and over again this week is that there is no point of being fustrated that you are not where you want to be...unless you can use it for motivation to get to that place.  So from here on out...it's one step in front of another...step by step back to my dreams!

Jess

I am not in control but I know who is..

Hey people,


Okay so this past month has been insane for me. I feel like I have been pulled in a million different directions and in the midst of trying to holding it all together I’ve just been watching things fall more and more apart. The funny thing is the more things fall apart the more I am realizing my desperate need for God.

I’m not usually the type of person who is so forward with my faith. In fact in the last year or so I’ve struggled so much in my relationship with God that although I’ve never once doubted God’s exsistance, I’ve felt like to talk about God as if we were still tight would only make me a hypocrite (so instead I’ve chosen not to say anything at all).

Anyway, in connection to this discovery I’ve also realised that the time I spend working out is about the most amount of personal time I get in my day (beyond the 45 minutes I’ve been getting up early each more to spend reading my bible) and that it’s the perfect oppurtunity for me to spend time talking to God.

In the past I’ve felt like I could only run if I’ve had the right music. This week I switched all my music on my MP3 music over to contemporary christian music and have been using my time out on the road just to talk…and be completely honest… with God. The funny thing is…in bringing all my emotions to God in this way I’ve realised that it’s helped me with my running. When I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious my number one instinct is to run away from the situation…which although I can’t really do, I can act out that feeling by physically running…and so I do.

So my next goal for this next coming month is to continue working on my relationship with God and allowing that healing also help me get back on track with my weight loss goals.

I am not in control, God is…but through Him I can do all things.

Jess

Lesson of the day

Hey Friends!

Sorry that I haven’t posted in a while. I always have such good intentions and then… well… life happens. Anyway today I went for a 4.5 mile run…and while I was out there running that streets it dawned on me once again that I don’t have to fit into any one else’s formula when it comes to running. I have this tendency in life…and thus in running…where I like to do things by the book. I obey the speed limit, I follow all the directions on tests, I don’t jump ahead in line, I wait for the cross walk. So when it comes to running, I like to follow the plan exactly…and when I can’t… well… I get frustrated and quit. That’s what the last two weeks have been about for me.

In the past two weeks (well minus the last three days) I haven’t been doing a lot of running. I realize now it’s cause I can’t seem to find the time (and or energy) to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week, plus deal with all my other responsibilities and still fit in all my scheduled runs. And… well…once I get off schedule…it’s all downhill from there.

But the good thing is… I still LOVE to run. In fact… my car is out of commission for the moment and since I didn’t have a way home from work last night I decided that I would just run home. Turns out it only takes about 35 minutes and other than having to deal with my backpack filled with my work clothes strapped to my back, it was actually quite enjoyable.

So now the plan is…just to run…to let it be fun…to go will how my body is feeling over what some paper tells me I have to do. Granted that doesn’t mean I want to gravitate too much from the “plan” but I guess what I’m finding is that when I do…its okay. So that’s my lesson for the day!

Jess

My three favorite words....

Ahh the joys of proving someone else wrong…of sticking it to them…. Of forcing them to say my favorite three words “You are right” (ha-ha…you thought I was going to say “I love you” didn’t you…just kidding). Anyway… so for at least the last week all I have listened to is my 19 year old nephew go on and on and on about how he could outrun me any day. He’s talked about how fast he is and how far he runs with his friends (well at least how far it feels), and about how I’m such a slow runners he’s got to whip my butt into shape. Meanwhile he’s completely ignored the point that I’ve been trying to make…which is he is a sprinter and I on the other hand am a distance runner, therefore I care less about speed and more about endurance.
Well tonight I finally convinced him to come on a run with me and since it was only three miles it didn’t take much convincing. We got on the road an immediately he started complaining about how my pace is so much slower than his. So I told him to run ahead and I would catch up to him on the main streets (basically meaning all the places I was planning to make a turn). I watched as he sped away and pretty much kept a good block ahead of me for the first half mile. Then he started walking! At first I thought he was just trying to wait for me but no….as I started to catch up he would start running again only to stop and walk about a minute later. This went on for about another half a mile and then he stopped completely.

When I caught up I asked him what the problem was and he was all like “I’m tired….how much longer do we got?”. I couldn’t help but let out a bit of a laugh when I informed him that we had just barely passed one mile and still had two more to go. Shaking his head he told me how there was no way he could make it another two miles and that he was going to turn back and go home. I kinda wanted him to stay…having someone to run with (even if it’s more like behind) always pushes me to work harder. But alas he said no and turned around; admitting to me that I in fact had been correct in saying that distance running is more about endurance than speed.

Not that I relish in knowing he quit…cause honestly I think he could have tried to push through a bit more…but this run made me happy. Happy that is because I’ve always been a firm believer that you can’t compare yourself to others when it comes to speed. You have to go at your own pace and eventually you can accomplish everything (and maybe even more) then a faster runner can. Tonites run reminded me of that….and I like knowing I’m right.

Jess

Mudpuddles of life...

Alright so the plan was to get back on track yesterday…and although the day started out pretty much on the right foot, it all started to unravel about the time I hit my 15 minute break and realized I didn’t have a healthy snack to carry me through the rest of the day. From there I lost track of calories, skipped my trip to the gym and ate brownies and ice cream with my teenage nephew all night. Then reality set in…and not only did I find myself with a large dose of eaters remorse, but I also happened to get an email from a friend containing a picture of me from this past weekend….let’s just say I was completely unhappy with what I saw…and it certainly kicked me back into reality.

I’m not going to lie… I love to eat crap because it tastes good to me (even though sometimes after I don’t feel good form it). And I have a hectic life schedule so when I’m tired it’s much easier to be lazy then to actually work out. BUT I also know that when I eat healthier I feel better and have more energy..and the same goes for working out.  I don’t ever want to become the overweight person I once was (see picture to right.. taken around my heaviest). That girl was unhappy because she was trapped in a body that was too big for her….she couldn’t move…she couldn’t breathe! But now by the grace of God I have a new body and since I can move and breathe I should!

So this morning I got back on the bandwagon. I made a healthy breakfast (an egg white scramble with tons of veggies) and lunch (yogurt with blueberries and a roast beef sandwich), started counting my calories again, AND even went for that well over due run (even though it was pouring rain out and the puddles were monsters…see picture below).

All in all I am pretty proud of myself…and ready to hit my goals again tomorrow (which include a 7am jog)! So…”what have you done today to make yourself proud”?

Jess