The first five minutes of any run are usually pretty hard for me. I go through this major mental battle over whether or not I can actually run or go for as long as I want…..I doubt myself, think about all the times I’ve failed, and think about quitting a million times over. But if I just keep going…just keep pushing through those first five minutes I can usually make it home again without stopping. Well tonight my run started out in that same mental space....and even though I’ve run the same route I did tonight a million times over, I honestly doubted I could do it. It’s funny though how frustration in one area can bring up so many other frustrations in different areas of your life….and that’s what happened tonight. My struggle in trying to push through the mental game of running was starting to bring up all these other failures I seem to be struggling with right now in my real life…and before I knew it I was getting quite angry, upset and frustrated….and I was starting to feel like not just this run, but life in general, was this huge mountain in front of me that I had no chance of climbing….and then I remembered something….
Two years ago I went to Los Angles and had an opportunity to train with some of the best trainers out there (along with some of the coolest people I know). One day in particular we were brought up to runyon canyon (a portion of which is pictured to the right…and when I say portion…I mean portion…this is only the top half of the canyon) and we were told we were to run to the top of it WITHOUT stopping…in fact the exact instructions were you can run as slow as you want…but whatever you do…DO NOT stop running until you reach the top! Honestly…I didn’t think I could do it. The canyon’s trail had such a huge incline and although I was in much better shape than I am now and had been running a lot more then I currently am…I doubted my own ability. Nonetheless I decided to try…and upon trying I made a decision NOT to give up! I wanted to…believe me I did….Everything within me was telling me I couldn’t do it…but I did….and it was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life (sounds silly but yet so true)!
Tonight I needed to remember that story. In terms of my run it reminded me to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I would make it home (which I did). I don’t have to run fast….it doesn’t have to look pretty…I just have to not give up! And in terms of life…it reminded me that no matter how big of a hole I feel I need to crawl out of….no matter how high the “mountains” of life are around me….if I just don’t give up I will get to where I want to be. It seems so simple….”Success means never, never, never giving up”….but sometimes those words just seem like words…and it’s nice to be able to look back at my own life and see the proof of them! So here's to climbing new mountains...and not giving up...
Jess
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