What the Faith of Those Past has Shown Me...

Last night I had 

a really interesting

conversation

with a customer

at work.

She came up

and asked for

any book 

we might have

on Smith Wigglesworth.

In case you don't know

who that is,

Smith Wigglesworth

was an amazing

minister of the Gospel

in the early 20th century

who is best known

for the miraculous

healings that God

preformed through Him!

His story amazes me

and has ever since

I first read about him

in high school.

I have stood in awe

of His connection 

with God

and desire nothing more

than to have that

type of relationship

with God myself.

But back to my customer...

after we searched

and found we had 

nothing in store for her

to purchase

I wrote down a list 

of his books for her to check out

and other men of God

she should read about...

people like

George Mueller

and Charles Spurgeon!

Then we got to talking 

about how

now a days

we don't seem to see 

this type of 

insane faith

anymore

and how sadly 

we've become

such a self-sufficient society

that we only seem

to turn to God

when things fall apart.

I confess

that over the years

I have been this exact person

I've been self reliant...

I try figure things out

on my own..

I don't want to need anybody

or anything from anybody...

at times,

not even from God!

But the truth of the matter is

I am absolutely and completely

in desperate need of God

every moment of every day!

And those just aren't words...

I'm not paying lip service

to God or you...

but I've come to know

through experience

and life circumstances

that when it seems

everything in life 

is falling apart

and nothing

seems to be going my way...

when all my friends have left me

and I feel alone

and unsure of

where to go 

and what to do...

GOD

has been there!

He's been 

my breath

my movement

my voice

my strength

my hope

my desire...

He's fulfilled

my every 

need

want

desire

hope

and prayer!

I cannot live this life without Him

nor do I ever want to!

So forgive me lord

for all the times

I've walked out on my own...

doing things my own way...

walking in my own strength..

and Thank you for

always holding me 

in your hands...

No matter what!

Amen.