I've done a lot of thinking over the past several months about what it looks like to actually LOVE God and LOVE people. It's a great theory...a lifestyle I want to live out...but what does it really look like?!?!
I'm really sick of the part of me that thinks and doesn't act though...and so this month I've joined up with a few of my west coast friends in the #25 days of Giving. Basically it's a time to step outside of the box and bless others by spreading some holiday cheer!
There are no rules expect to give something....
a gift...
some time...
some money...
a listening ear...
a smile...
a break...
to someone else at least once per day.
Sounds easy enough, right?!?!
Well to be honest...at times...I've found this to be quite a challenge.
When it comes to doing things for strangers....
people I will most likely never see again or don't really know enough to have it matter...
I am great at giving.
I can give a lunch to the beggar on the street corner.
I can give a hand to an older lady at the grocery store.
I can give a smile to someone at the bank whose obviously having a hard day.
Even when it comes to giving to those who I will never meet...
I seem to have no trouble.
I can give money to organizations like pure charity and world vision.
I can pay for the meal of the car behind me in the drive through.
I can even put away all the grocery carts around the parking lot of the grocery store when nobody is looking.
Theses are the things I am good at.
But...
when it comes to giving to the people who are in my life...
my family...
my friends...
my co-workers...
my neighbors....
...I struggle.
It's not that I can't come up with ideas.
It's that...
for some reason...
when I try to give to them...
I always to get "self" involved.
I want my giving to be self-less.
I want to love the people in my life...
because I love them...
because Christ loves them...
and because as people they deserve to be loved.
Instead I seem to give...
worrying about what they will think of me..
or worrying how they will respond to me.
I wondering if I am setting myself up to be taken advantage of...
or if I'm turning people away cause they assume I have wrong motives.
I don't think this is what giving is suppose to be about!
It's not suppose to be like this!
So why is it so hard to truly LOVE those closest to me?!?!?!
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