Tuesday, December 13, 2011

God is God and I am not....the 2011 version...

 Woody Allen once said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”.  It’s kind of funny when you think about it.  Here we are, mere humans, coming to God telling Him what we are going to do, as if the very act of being able to think of such plans wasn’t His very own design formed in us!  Yet we so easily come before Him acting as if we are God, having any right telling Him what to do or how to move.   I often wonder if God’s just looking down from heaven, chuckling, with a little smirk on his face and a tiny shake of his head, while He watches us try to call the shots. 
  I know in this moment I kind of find myself in that place…chuckling at my own foolishness in thinking that I know anything about being God.  I sit here, just days after laying down my first payment for a mission’s trip I plan to go on this summer, thinking how ironic it is that earlier this year I was swearing to God that I was not going to step out in faith beyond a certain point anymore.  I thought I understood myself…I thought I understood my faith in God….…I guess I really just thought that I could be God and control my life!  Turns out…He’s still God….and on the throne!
  You see, months and months ago when I told God what he could and couldn’t do in my life.  I was talking out of fear and a sense of failure.  I had made up my mind that it wasn’t worth it to step out in faith…..it was better to play it safe….live comfortable.  I was willing to sacrifice abundant life for the sake of being comfortable and to save face.   Then somewhere along the line, God brought me to my knees in total surrender once again.  Then He did what only God can do and took my broken pieces, brought healing to those places, and sowed me up stronger and tougher than I was before.  He gave me the ability to dream again….the desire to turn to Him more completely…and the faith to once again step out beyond my comfort zone!  God can certainly do the impossible…and I can’t help but be grateful that he’s done it in me!  Thank you God that you are God and I am not!

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