This morning I went to visit a church in Marlborough with one of my friends, and the pastor preached on the story in Genesis where Abraham goes up the mountain to sacrifice his son Isaac. Basically the main point of his message was that God is asking us the same thing He was asking Abraham in that story….”Do you love me” and “Do you trust me”. As I’ve gone through this afternoon, I’ve been mulling those questions over in my mind and I realize that I find it quite easy to say “God I love you”, but in all honesty….it’s really hard for me to say “God I trust you”.
The thing is I don’t think I’ve ever really trusted God completely. Yeah I’ve trusted Him in part. I’ve trusted Him when it was easy, or when I have felt like I had no clue what to do so I might as well trust in him. I’ve trusted Him when it has felt right to and when I had nowhere else to turn. But at other times, when everything has felt like it’s falling apart, when God’s way has seemed pretty whacked out, and I’m stressed about the outcome….well, my tendency has been to abandon ship. In fact, sadly, it’s kind of a theme with me…..when things get hard, I run away…
The reality is though, it’s not just with God that trust is such an issue. I tend to not trust people very much either. Most people live their lives trusting in others until they give them a reason not to. I usually wait for people to prove they are trust worthy to me before really investing. Most people think “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”, where as I think “Fool my once, shame on me. Fool me twice and well, we might as well not be friends”. This is such a bad attitude for me to have, especially in the community of God!
And that brings me back to today’s sermon, because sitting in today’s service, listening to this pastor, I felt like God was asking me a question….”Will you trust me enough to stay where I have you even though it’s uncomfortable?”. God knows me enough to know that at this point in my life there are some things/people I just want to give up on and run away from. I’ve pushed people away, I’ve separated myself as best as I can from situations, I’ve packed my bags and I am ready to run from them……and here’s God…..stopping me in my tracks….looking me in the eye and asking me…..”Will you stay…and Trust me?”
So maybe God’s not asking me to give up my only son for him, like he asked of Abraham, but the need for a sacrifice is still the same. Will I love him enough to lay down my pride, my hurt, my desires….and just TRUST Him…here….now?!?! I say yes God….I love you and I will trust you!