Sunday, July 31, 2011

If God is a God of reconciliation...then who am I serving?!?!

  I wanna believe we serve a God of reconciliation.  That God can take even the most hardest hearts and turn them back to Him and back to each other.  But, what happens when one of those hardened hearts is my own and I'm no longer sure if I want reconciliation?!
  Tonite at dinner my mom informed me that one of my sister's is thinking about starting to attend my church.  Now if I was a "good little Christian" (or at least acting on my best behavior as I so often do in Christian circles), I would be excited about the idea of seeing my sister come to God or even just church.  She's gone through a lot over the past several years and if she truly understood the grace of God it would change her life.
  But instead, once again, my ugly side reared it's head.  It seems lately, all I've been doing if showing my faults.   I feel so overwhelmed lately by my lack and in that moment of my mom sharing this information about my sister with me, I was once again faced with how jaded I truly am.
  To be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready to move forward with my forgive her...and to begin to once again to give her the benefit of the doubt.  It seems like every time I do that I set myself up for disappointment  and I've had enough of that over the past several weeks.  And yet when I think about her coming to my church, I realise that my heart is completely opposite to the heart of God.  If God is a god of reconciliation...then who I am serving in this situation?!?!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Who gets a workout from a video game?!?!?

  I'm going to let you in on a little secret about ready?  I absolutely love the feeling of being sore after a good work out!  I know that sounds weird, but there's something so great about working hard and actually feeling it.  It's like the soreness is a sign that the effort I am putting in is actually doing something!  And that's exactly how I have felt after I've done the Biggest Loser Challenge Wii Game the last two times!  Honestly, I went into it as a huge skeptic.  Who gets a workout from a video game!  But the reality works!  I mean the whole thing involves you actually getting up off the couch and doing the exercises (unlike other workout games I've played before where you can "win" from your seat in a reclined position with a drink in your hand)!  Plus, being that I am quite the competitive person, it gives me that extra incentive to get more points and have a better proficiency than the person I am playing against!  So all in all, I highly recommend, if you can, check it out!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Some Things are better Left Unsaid....

  Once again I have been really bad about blogging.  It's hard some how take the time at the end of a long day to form all the thoughts floating around in my head into words that will some how make sense.  Sometimes it seems easier not to I don't....and then I regret it.  So, kinda like I've been doing all week in terms of working out (I've work out five of the last six days which is almost 100% better then I've been doing for the past three-four months), I am going to get back on track.
  There's so much I could write about, so many thoughts and feelings that could be put out there, but one thing I've learned about myself over the past few months (and something that I truly respect in me) is that I know how to keep my mouth shut when I need to and move on!  You see, most people see me as this nice, quiet girl, who only tells people off in her mind.  But, honestly,  I can't tell you the amount of times in life that my mouth has gotten me into trouble.  It's like my words are a cliff and my emotions are a propeller and 99.9% of the time, the two combine and send me over the edge (by the way what is up with me and precentages tonite?!!?)
  Anyway, I like knowing that I've grown enough to know when it's worth it plead my case, to tell someone off, to voice a complain, to trash talk.....and when it's just better to swallow my pride, admit where I was wrong, and leave it be.  I never thought I would say this, but there is almost a sense of freedom in showing restraint!  Who knew (well besides all those people over the years who have told me just to keep my mouth shut...hee hee)!