Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I am not in control but I know who is..

Hey people,

Okay so this past month has been insane for me. I feel like I have been pulled in a million different directions and in the midst of trying to holding it all together I’ve just been watching things fall more and more apart. The funny thing is the more things fall apart the more I am realizing my desperate need for God.

I’m not usually the type of person who is so forward with my faith. In fact in the last year or so I’ve struggled so much in my relationship with God that although I’ve never once doubted God’s exsistance, I’ve felt like to talk about God as if we were still tight would only make me a hypocrite (so instead I’ve chosen not to say anything at all).

Anyway, in connection to this discovery I’ve also realised that the time I spend working out is about the most amount of personal time I get in my day (beyond the 45 minutes I’ve been getting up early each more to spend reading my bible) and that it’s the perfect oppurtunity for me to spend time talking to God.

In the past I’ve felt like I could only run if I’ve had the right music. This week I switched all my music on my MP3 music over to contemporary christian music and have been using my time out on the road just to talk…and be completely honest… with God. The funny thing is…in bringing all my emotions to God in this way I’ve realised that it’s helped me with my running. When I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious my number one instinct is to run away from the situation…which although I can’t really do, I can act out that feeling by physically running…and so I do.

So my next goal for this next coming month is to continue working on my relationship with God and allowing that healing also help me get back on track with my weight loss goals.

I am not in control, God is…but through Him I can do all things.


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