Somebody asked me the other day how I felt about having to fundraise for missions and I gave them this honest answer....it depends on the moment. Call it a lack of faith or just being human but I tend to swing back and forth between being totally confident in God and totally freaking out about the amount of money I need to raise.
On the one hand I absolutely believe that God pays for what He plans. I think Hudson Taylor said it best when he said "God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply". We serve a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and thus I have no doubt that God can provide for me or anyone as He sees fit. And so in that vein, a part of me does not worry at all...why should I?
But...then on the other hand...in those moments, when I am staring at the facts and figures and realize that I basically have to raise in four and a half months what it takes me about eight months of work to earn....I am overwhelmed. Can this really be done? How is this going to work out? Obviously the only solution is that I need stop eating and driving and basically doing anything else that costs money for the rest of the year so that I can save my every last penny for this mission!
The reality is though...that this....raising money for missions... is not suppose to be like that. It's not about making my own way and being self-reliant. It's about asking people to join in the ministry with you and involving others in the work God is doing through you! And while it's humbling and completely awkward to stand before people over and over and over again, pleading with them to give you money...ultimately it's not about you...or in this case me.
So am I stressed out about this part of my mission...Yes! Am I confident that God will provide...Yes! Do I still worry and freak out...Yes! But do I trust God...Yes! I'm not sure how those all fit together...but they do...and that's where I am at. So pray for me people...and then, if you feel led, join in this ministry with me! Amen!
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