Sunday, June 10, 2012

Cause Somebody has to be Willing to Open the Lines of Communication...

  The other day I posted a status along the lines of feeling comforted in my struggle with church.  This isn't a new struggle for me, it's actually something I've been wrestling with for almost a year, but that night I had hung out with a friend who made me feel like it was okay to wrestle with things....that it didn't make me a bad Christian or give me some moral was just something I would eventually work through.  I found comfort in her words....comfort that I'd been waiting a long time to feel.  So I posted my status about it...and granted I worded my status as a question, but I was honestly quite surprised as to how many people responded to it...and even more surprised as to how most chose to do so in private, where no one else could see our conversations.
  In all honestly the responses I got weren't very varied, but they did all seem to fall into one of two camps.  It seemed that either people were all of a sudden concerned about my spiritual state and worried that I might be falling out of relationship with God....or people understood exactly where I was coming from and confided that they to had questions like mine.
  All of this led me to wonder, why are all these conversations taking place in private?  Why can't we just have an open conversation about this stuff?  I guess part of it is fear....fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of being judged, fear of a verbal fight breaking out....and I get that...I really do.  But how are we ever suppose to "build each other up and spur each other on" if we can't be open and honest with each other?!
  Sadly, I am the biggest hypocrite ever in saying this because I certainly am not a very open person.  I like to be liked, I am scared to be hurt, and honestly I hate I tend to shy away from situations that lead to those said things.  Yet.....I can't help but wonder....if I can't share my struggles with my brothers and sisters in Christ and be real with them....then who am I suppose to talk to?!?  I think I'm gonna work on being more open...and sharing in spite of my fear.  And maybe, just maybe, it might inspire others to do the same.

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