Sunday, May 12, 2013

Getting Real with Myself...

  I use to think that I was the type of person who expected more out of myself than out of others.  I have said things like....I'm just really hard on myself... and.... I just expect better of myself....and basically acted as if the standard by which I choose to live is so righteous that I am as close to perfect as a sinner can get and everyone else should just bow to my greatness (okay..so I'm not that full-of-myself, but you get the point)!
  Lately though...I've been noticing the cracks in my own theory.  In the past week alone I've gotten angry, frustrate and annoyed at people in my life for doing the same things I have done myself and yet I've excused my behavior without offering that same excuse to others!  HYPOCRITE!
  I am the type of person who expects immediate forgiveness when I hurt people....and then drags my feet in forgiving people in return!  I am the type of person who talks out the issues I have with one person to everyone but that person... and then gets mad when that person doesn't approach just me when there are issues!  I am the type of person who gets frustrated when it feels like nobody is really listening to me...and yet when people ask for my listening ear, I am often so distracted I miss their main point!
  I act like everything is fine when it's not.  I throw people under the bus to protect myself.  I lie when I should be truthful.  I put my own interest above others.  I seek my own comfort first.  I think I'm right even when I know I am not.
  Basically...I am learning more and more... that I am a SINNER....just like everyone else!  THANK GOD for a savior!

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