Today after work, I planned to get in my car and just cry. I was feeling stretched and overwhelmed and stressed to the point that it seemed only a good cry would do. And then... I got a message from a friend and it made me laugh...and laugh...and laugh some more...until I forgot all about crying. And yet, some how, I still felt better.
It's amazing that friends can have that kind of effect on me. I remember not so many years ago, pretty much swearing off having people as friends. I had trained myself to believe that nobody ever really cares about anyone else, and I didn't want to be hurt by that fact any more, so I kept people at bay.
I will admit that these days it's still sometimes pretty easy to fall back into that routine. To be struggling and failing...and feel like everyone has abandoned me in my time of need....like people have finally seen my dark side and realized it's just not worth it to try and be my friend.
Thankfully for me though, over the past several days, I've had a few of my friends really step up and show me that our relationship isn't just one sided... and that I do matter to them... and that in my time of need they will be there (even with snot-rages to clean me up after all my tears).
It's strange to go from a place of trusting no one to realizing that there are actually people out there who are worth trusting....people who won't turn their back on you when they find out just how HUMAN you are...and people who will choose to forgive you and to continue to stand by you even after you have hurt them.
I'm not always thankful for the blessings God gives me in life....and I sometimes forget that God has blessed me with such good friends...and I belly-ache and complain about people not being who I want them to be. BUT then...completely out of the blue...when I least expect it and yet most need it....a friend is there and I am remind how good God has been to me in this area.
The funny thing is, I had spent much of my day writing a completely different blog post in my head...and then this afternoon in the twenty minutes I had between dinner and heading out the door again... I tried to write in on here and it just wasn't coming back to me. In all honesty, I'm pretty sure it had a lot of complaining in it....but now...tonight....after spending time with some friends....I'm really glad I couldn't remember it, cause I've got so better things to meditate on!