So I am pretty sure I have shared this before, but in my head I have this idea of what I think a missionary "should" look like. They are these charismatic, extroverted people, who draw people in and eloquently point them in the direction of Jesus. They are people who are go getter's and driven....outgoing and un-afraid to step out of the box. They like the lime light and having all eyes on them, and they feel comfortable in situations when they have to think quickly on their feet!
In all honesty, I'm sure not all of that is true...some missionaries are gifted or better at some things than others...and some missionaries have different skill sets than others. But when it comes to comparing who I am with what I think I should be, I can't help but think how far I fall short of this idea in my head.
BUT then.....and thanks be to God there is a BUT....I have these moments where God finds a way to remind me that even though I'm not who I think I should be, I'm exactly who HE created me to be and who HE has called into the ministry!
I think it was last Wednesday...I was at work and just thinking about the different people I know who are involved in God's work. I thought about my current pastor and other pastors I know, missionaries, and people who work in inner-city ministries....and I started talking to God about how much respect I have for these people and how I'm not sure I could ever be like them! And then somewhere deep in my spirit, it was like I felt God said "I never asked you to be"!
It's so true, God never asked me to be like someone else! He created me to be me and thus I'm not called to be anyone else...or to act like anyone else. I don't have their giftings or talents because I have my own. And I also have my own calling, which I wouldn't be able to fulfill if I didn't walk out in who I am!
But because I'm thick headed...and usually need to hear things a few times before they really take root in my spirit, God took the opportunity to remind me of all this again yesterday when I had a phone conference/meeting with an OM staffer who specializes in raising support. He was a wealth of information, and encouragement! BUT the best...most important....thing he shared with me was this...."You just need to be yourself! God could have called anyone to this ministry, but He is calling you...that means the gifts and talents He's given you are what HE needs in this moments to carry on His work. So don't try to be anyone else....just be you!". The funny thing was I didn't share anything that was going on in my heart that would lead him to say this....he just said it and moved on, as if God was like "Before we go any further, let me remind you again that you...as you are...is who I am calling"!
And I know those both sound like really corny examples, but they are honestly exactly what I needed to hear and be reminded of at exactly the right time! God has this great way of doing that....being so precise and specific with His reminders and confirmation! And while I am sure that I'll probably need another reminder...and another...and another...from Him, I am confident of this, that HE will give me exactly what I need when I need it! I see the proof of that every day!