Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankful for Change?!?!

  So its thanksgiving Eve….and there is almost nothing more appropriate to do on a night like tonight than to reflect on all the millions of things I am thankful for….and believe me there is plenty!   I am thankful for my family, for my faith, for my job, for my life…and probably more than I ever have been before, I am thankful for my friendships.
  Throughout my life I have been what could be considered by some as sort of a recluse.  Now, I’ve always had friends, but I never really trusted people enough to let them truly get to know me.  And although deep down I always wanted that real connection with people,  I just didn’t believe that if people got to know the real me, that they would continue to want that same connection in return.  So I went through life pretending to let people in but honestly holding my heart captive in a locked up cell that would never really let people get close. 
  Over the years I obviously did form relationships with people….some relationships that have since fallen apart and some that to this day I truly delight in.  But this year….without me even noticing how or when… I have formed some amazing friendships with people who I truly want to know and who genuinely care about me.  I don’t have to do anything to “make” them be my friend….I don’t have to be perfect to “keep” them as my friends….they just are….and it blows my mind!
  There’s a quote about change from the movie “Life as a House” that goes....

“You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is.”

… and although my circumstances aren’t anything like what is going on in that movie when that quote was made, it explains perfectly what this year has been for me.  I am not the same person I was when this year started.  Yeah I still have my perfectionist tendencies and I still worry way too much about stupid things, but finally I am living life…real life….up and down and all around, crazy messed up life!  And let me tell you this is one change I am TRULY THANKFUL for!

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