So a few months ago I was reading one of my favorite blogs and I really felt challenged that if I am going to say I am a Christian then my life should basically show it. For over a year I feel like I’ve been talking a big game when it comes to my faith, but looking around I sometimes wonder where’s the fruit of those words. Then a few weeks ago I began reading the book “Not a fan” by Kyle Ingleman and once again felt challenged to truly surrender my life to Christ and to be willing to be used for him no matter what it looks like. So, I began praying that God would help to me daily (even hourly or minutely if need be) to surrender to him and whatever he wants to do through me.
Well the other day I had one of those moments that I believe was an answer to that prayer. You see, I happened to walk in on a conversation two people were having about Thee Church and right away I got excited because I felt like this is it…my chance to really be used of God! I was so excited and so badly wanted to join the conversation that I ended up kind of forcing it, then saying something pretty ridiculous, and eventually walking away feeling like I blew this golden opportunity. Both of these people had been hurt by the church and all I wanted to do was share with them about the God I serve who loves them, and gave himself for them that they might find true life and forgiveness through him. And instead, it felt like I just failed them….and God!
Then tonight I was standing in line at the grocery store and the guy in front of me was talking to the couple in front of him about the bible. At first his words were pretty eloquent, but before I knew it he was basically telling these people that God’s only plan for them was that they would be happy and rich (where is that in the bible?!?!). So I decided to try my hand again and add my two cents….except this time what I ended up sounding like was one of those fire and brimstone preachers who tells everyone they are going to hell! Strike out number two!
When I got home I felt pretty horrible….how is it possible that within 36 hours I’ve blown my witness twice?!?! The great thing about God though is that he never gives up on me. And so tonight, I found myself at my computer, reading through some emails and messages from this morning and it was like God was putting his fingers right into my heart and burning these words into my heart, “it's not ME but it’s HIM who works in people. My responsibility is to surrender my life to him and to trust him to use it for the people he already surrendered his life for!” In fact…those were my own words from a message I sent to a friend earlier this day!
The bible says in 1 Corinthians 3:5-9 that “One sows, another waters, but its GOD who makes the seed grow”! I think what God’s trying to teach me is that surrendering to Him, means allowing Him to do His work through me….His way…and for His glory. Surrendering means taking a step out in faith and trusting no matter what the outcome its God who will work his will out through it. Surrendering means not forcing my way or seeking my own agenda, but instead being lead by God and allowing Him to set the agenda. Surrendering means saying YES to God and giving Him the rest. Sometimes its scary and hard and often uncomfortable, but the more I step out in God, the more I’m realizing that truly this is abundant life!