Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sometimes Chips Aren't the only Things in Cookies...

  Growing up I was really good friends with this girl that lived five houses away from me (two backyards if you were willing to hop fences).  We would do everything together...and then go home and talk about it on the phone while staring out our bedroom windows at each other as if we hadn't seen each other for years!  We even talked about one day building a tunnel under ground from my house to hers where we could live together happily ever after.
  But then in sixth grade we had a fight...a big fight...a beat the living crud out of you, leave you bleeding on the ground and crying while I walk away not looking back kind of fight!  After that I didn't talk to her for years....mostly because I was ashamed of what I had done and afraid that she would never forgive me.  In eighth grade we got stuck sitting next to each other on the bus.  I remember that ride like it was yesterday because it was the first time we talked after all those months and years.  In wasn't a long fact all that she said was "I want you to know I don't hate you"  and all I said was "Oh" (Apparently I've never been good on my feet hee hee)!
  The problem was I couldn't forgive myself and so although our paths would cross here and there over the next couple of years, we were never really friends again.  As life goes, we grew apart...she had her life...I had mine.  I heard here and there about different things that were going on with her, but I never really stepped out to try and bridge our gap, even though I knew she could probably use a friend!
  Last week her mom informed that she had bought a house in our neighborhood with her fiance and two kids! I can actually see her new house from my bedroom window, just like old times.  As soon as I heard the news I wanted to go over and talk to her....welcome her to the neighborhood...let her know that I'm in her corner.  So today I decided to bake cookies and bring them over, but as they cooked I felt myself becoming more and more nervous.  What if she hated me, what if she looked down on me, what if I just ended up looking like an idiot!
  I had a choice....try or not....step out or hide out.  So I got down on my knees and I surrendered it to God.  I told Him how I didn't want this to be about me and how I truly just wanted to bless her and let her know how excited I am for her!  When I got up off my knees I walked out the door and over to her house, cookies in hand.  I rang the door answer.  I answer.  I went to the other door...still no answer.  At this point I was feeling like an idiot (just like I feared) and started to assume that she must really hate me now.  So I walked back home...deflated.
  As I began getting ready to head out for the afternoon and run errands I just kept feeling like I can't give up on this.  So I grabbed the cookies, some paper and tape...then hoped in my car, ran my errands and ended up right back at her house.  Again...there was no answer.  So instead I wrote her a note...taped it to the cookies...and left it by her door.  I don't know what will come of this...if anything.  I don't know if she will read my note or if we will ever talk again.  This was not how I expected it to go...BUT  I've surrendered it to God and I will continue to do so as I continue to reach out to her and her family...and I will just  trust him that he will have HIS way in this.  Amen.

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