So I have been talking a lot lately about wanting my faith to be not just something I talk about, but rather something that I am and do. And so today, being Sunday and all, I had such grand intentions of living that out in some practical way. In the center of town there is this corner where it seems every Sunday these handful of protesters set up shop....usually protesting something about the war in Iraq or medicare. I've mentioned to several people for the last several months (aka about a year) how one day I should just stop by and bring them something to drink. I may not share the same political views as them, or really know much about what they are talking about, but after standing in the hot sun for hours they must be thirsty and thus bringing them a drink would just be a small way for me to bless them! Today was going to be that day!
So after church I hoped in my car and drove down to their corner just to make sure they were there...and...well...they weren't (the audacity!). Instead there was this larger crowd with signs about re-electing a certain local politician and right in the center....smiling, waving and shaking hands, was the said politician. My first reaction was....NO WAY God....NO WAY! There is no way I am going to buy drinks for a politician. I may not know a lot about politics, but most of the politicians I do know about are anything but upstanding citizens who really just want to help people and make the world a better place! The LAST thing I wanted to do was serve someone like that! So I almost drove away.....but I didn't....because in the back of my mind I kept thinking about how God doesn't show favorites, and when we calls us to love all people, he means ALL people! So instead I parked, walked into our local paneras, and bought the whole herd lemonade.....praying that God would bless them even in the midst of my not so perfect attitude! Well, in the time it took me to order and pack everything up so that I wouldn't drop anything, they must have finished what they had planned to accomplish on that street corner, because when I got out there again, they all were gone....vanished....disappeared without a trace!
This was NOT at all how I was expecting this to go! Even in my worst case scenario I had not envisioned myself standing on the sidewalk in the center of town with an arm load of drinks and nobody around to give it to! I was honestly pissed (excuse my not-french!)!!! Here I am trying to be a blessing, using money I don't really have to give to a group of people who I don't really know or think I'll like....and they leave on me?!?! How stupid am I to think this was a good idea! Like offering someone a drink really matters! What kind of idiot am I for trying to step out of the box like this?!?! This was so not a good idea! Why did I think it was?!?! And on and on and on the comments went in my head the whole drive home!
I was so annoyed with myself and the situation that as soon as I got home I climbed into bed and wrapped myself in blankets, figuring it was better just to sleep the rest of this day away. But I couldn't sleep...so I began pouting to God...telling Him how I felt like such an idiot and how I clearly need to learn to listen to HIS voice above my own because I had thought this was a God idea and obviously it wasn't! And as I sat there complaining, it was if God gently shhhhh'd me and reminded me that it's not about me. Moments like this aren't about how I feel or look, they are about honoring Him and blessing others. Sure things didn't turn out as I expected...I didn't get a nice pat on the back for being a good little Christian....But I still stepped out and I tried. And God was honored not because I looked good...in fact I'm sure I looked pretty ridiculous....but because I trusted Him enough to try something, even though it was just a small thing, in His name. So to God be the Glory!
**PS....no lemonade was wasted in the making of this story...instead it was used to bless some other people in my life who bless me on a continual basis...aka my family***