Thursday, November 29, 2012

When We Need the Catch 22....

    I have never been in war...I've never trained in the army...and to be honest, I haven't even read the book "The Art of War"....BUT  I am certain... without a doubt... that one of the biggest attacks of the enemy is to Divide and conquer. How do I know this?!?!  I see the evidence of it constantly in my spiritual walk.
  Now to be fair, I think some of it comes down to personality.  I am the kind of person who likes to do things on my own.....I like to figure things out for myself and decide what's best for me.  So in those moments when I am struggling or hurting or just down....my first instinct is not to run to people but rather away from them.  I'd rather save face than share my burdens, which clearly does not play into community.
  However I think some of this also comes from the enemy of our souls.  Now, I don't know much about spiritual warfare, but I believe it exists...and I believe the enemy knows if he can get us alone and on our own he can defeat us.  So He plants ideas in our head...thoughts that tell us nobody cares, people don't need us to share our pain with them when they have their own, and that in sharing our struggle we are only proving how desperately screwed up we are.  And we...or maybe just I...believe Him...for a bit anyway.
  But then I have moments...where I share a cup of coffee with a friend...or send out an S.O.S. text for prayers...or even just read verses like "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense" and I'm reminded that God created us to be a body....and the body does not work when we don't work together.  And that in working together, in Him, we can not be defeated.
  It all makes so much sense...and yet...I think community will always be one of those catch 22 things for me....something I want, something I need, and yet something so uncomfortable and messy to me that I will always be tempted to pull away. 
 

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