Saturday, January 1, 2011

When that moment you fear ...actually happens

  So a few weeks ago one of my friends mentioned that her sister-in-law had tried to knit her a scarf but it didn’t come out how she expected (you know…straight)!  Well I mentioned to her that I knit and that I would make her a scarf.  Last week I finally finished it and last night I finally gave it to her.  I have to admit…I was quite excited.  It’s not every day I get to gift someone with something I made!  Well she seemed to really enjoy it (yeay!) but then immediately went into discussing paying me for it (not so yeay!).  I kept telling her she didn’t have to pay me for it, that it was my gift to her, and that the best repayment would be that she wear it…a lot!  Still she kept insisting that she needed to give me something for it…which honestly became really awkward for me.  In fact at one point I said to her something like “Look I don’t want you to pay me for it….if you pay me then it’s going to feel like a business arrangement when it was just suppose to be about being able to bless a friend”.  That’s where it got awkward…when I called her my friend.  I mean the reality is she IS my friend….but in that moment it became very obvious to me that maybe I think more of her as my friend than she thinks of me as her friend (talk about a red faced moment)!  The moment quickly blew over and we got on with the rest of the night…but even this morning I couldn’t help but think about how awkward that moment became for me.  And maybe it’s just me reading too much into things…I mean I almost never tell people to their face that they are my friend for fear that such a moment might happen….so maybe I was just being hyper-sensitive!  The reality is, even if she doesn’t think of me as that good of a friend, that really shouldn’t affect how I act towards or treat her. I can’t control her or her feelings but I can control myself…and I choose to bless my friends and believe that in caring for the people who matter to me, my life will be blessed!
  Speaking of controlling only myself…Today I did an excellent job of sticking to a healthy diet and exercise.  I ate breakfast (something I NEVER do…sadly), brought my lunch to work (okay so it was a frozen healthy choice dinner, but still), made a healthier side dish to dinner (broccoli with hint of fresh salsa as opposed to French fries….and no bun for my hot dog…check out my pic to the right for proof…just look at all those colors...hee hee), and went for a run (even though that meant I had to run outside in the dark with the melting snow)!  Now that’s the way to start a new year off right!

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