Friday, October 23, 2009

Dream a little Dream...

Hey Friends!

Sorry that I didn’t get time to write last night. My sister and I were in desperate need of some bonding time and that gave me just enough time to eat dinner and work out before we settled in for the night. Anyway, my workout the past two nights went pretty well. Last night I was in a hurry so I only got in a 55 minute workout, but I did burn 644 calories and ended the day with a calorie deficit for 831 calories. Then today, even though I was tired and did not want to work out, I did and in an hour and 5 minutes I burned 777 calories, leaving me with a calorie deficit today of 1312 (Cals in 1590/cals out 2920).

So last night I continued to take a look down the road of motivation and decided to continue working on my list of all the things I want in life. Turns out…a large portion of my list has little to do with fitness, which leads me to believe that I am right in thinking that my failure in my original weight loss journey was not addressing the internal work as intensely as the physical. I once heard it said that you can be a dysfunctional skinny person…and in a lot of ways I still believe that. I lost 130lbs being my dysfunctional self...and that needed to happen. But it’s the internal work….the vulnerability and fears that I didn’t address on the way to losing all that weight that impart lead me to putting back on 45lbs (thankfully now I’m on the road to losing again and can actually say that number is now 40lbs..Well a little less but we’ll just play devil’s advocate for now).

Anyway, they say that people who write down their goals are that much more likely to reach them….and I’m choosing to believe that sharing those goals only lead you to working that much harder to reach them. So here are the beginning stages of my list of things I want in life:

*I want to reach my goal weight of 160lbs
*I want to fit into my size 8 jeans
*I want to feel comfortable in my own skin
*I want to feel beautiful
*I want to get married and have kids
*I want to feel like I am good enough
*I want to be/feel loved
*I want to matter
*I want to make a difference in this world
*I want to be an athlete and compete in any competition I can
*I want to have friends who I feel I can trust and who trust me
*I want to be myself and be secure in that no matter who I am with
*I want to be a good example to the people in my life
*I want to stop letting people take advantage of me
*I want to stop worrying so much
*I want to feel like my family accepts me for who I am not what I do
*I want to be truly happy
*I want my spiritual, physical, mental and emotional life all working together perfectly at the same time

…yeah…so that’s what I have so far. I recently read an article written by Jillian Michaels (pictured at left) where she talked about motivation and how the best way to stay motivated is to identify, define and connect to your dreams because “Your dreams are your eternal motivation. They inspire us to your greatest heights, comfort us through hard times, and bring about the realization of our destiny. They are the first steps towards happiness and success”. So here’s to dreaming….again!


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