Friday, October 9, 2009

The Race in my mind...


So tomorrow is the day…the day I face up to the promise/declaration I made way back in December….or well…at least half of it. See Last December I was feeling great, like I could do anything I put my mind to, and so I decided to make a New Year’s Resolution to Run the ING Hartford Marathon. I had grand plans to use the race to raise money for the American Cancer Society and to really honor the life of my brother in law (pictured to the left) who was struggling with the disease. Unfortunately in late January my Brother in Law passed away, and although I kept the hope alive that I would still be able to run this race for almost six months, by the time August came I knew I just wouldn’t be ready to take on the 26.2 miles. So I decided I would instead run the ½ marathon. I couldn’t very well quit on it all when I had actually raised some money and I certainly didn’t want to feel like a failure for not even trying. Yet the reality is…now that I sit here the night before the race realizing what this day could have been and what it isn’t, I do in a way feel like a failure. Honestly I’ve run a ½ marathon before (and I didn’t do as well as I had hoped) and so I should see this as a chance to redeem myself or something. Yet instead all can think about are all the people who are expecting that I’m going to run 26.2 miles and that I’m going to do great at it….when in reality I’ll be lucky if I make the 13.1.

How is it that I can take a great idea and a great accomplishment and turn it into something to be ashamed of and feel like a failure about?!?!

Your Nervous Friend


No comments:

Post a Comment